I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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