I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
