Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
