I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
