So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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