I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
