he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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