dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom