I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in