Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.

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(484): Totally smoking with fifteen year olds. http://tfl.nu/wzuc

Replies (14) Good night (962) Bad night (1287)
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(207): View more from Maine

hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.

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(207): hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either. http://tfl.nu/vb3y

Replies (47) Good night (6327) Bad night (1601)
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(614): View more from Ohio

trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.

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(614): trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room. http://tfl.nu/9qb1

Replies (17) Good night (1084) Bad night (5975)
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(206): View more from Washington

She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.

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(206): She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America. http://tfl.nu/8yw3

Replies (8) Good night (2129) Bad night (802)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.

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(301): Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again. http://tfl.nu/u94k

Replies (4) Good night (1963) Bad night (1226)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.

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(+44): I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs. http://tfl.nu/qoq8

Replies (7) Good night (2487) Bad night (531)
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(408): View more from California

Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.

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(408): Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked. http://tfl.nu/qje8

Replies (8) Good night (1076) Bad night (1608)
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(714): View more from California

I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again

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(714): I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again http://tfl.nu/ze4i

Replies (5) Good night (549) Bad night (1758)
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(312): View more from Illinois

I cannot FaceTime with your penis

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(312): I cannot FaceTime with your penis http://tfl.nu/6572

Replies (10) Good night (1021) Bad night (508)
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(559): View more from California

I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."

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(559): I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce." http://tfl.nu/n8hm

Replies (2) Good night (760) Bad night (469)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.

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(859): I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation. http://tfl.nu/e71w

Replies (1) Good night (310) Bad night (588)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?

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(603): Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people? http://tfl.nu/67j9

Replies (13) Good night (376) Bad night (791)
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(713): View more from Texas

She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.

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(713): She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided. http://tfl.nu/l32x

Replies (1) Good night (809) Bad night (235)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.

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(847): Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction. http://tfl.nu/r2mw

Replies (2) Good night (486) Bad night (267)
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(+48): View more from Poland

It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.

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(+48): It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this. http://tfl.nu/tdnl

Replies (6) Good night (439) Bad night (329)

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