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I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
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