Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.