On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?