It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Randomize
