I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize