remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
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