Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
