she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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