I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
