As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
