I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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