I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
