He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
