DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
