I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
