im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
They took my balls.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
