I wish I only lived at night.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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