doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
