exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
