I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm getting married
To pizza
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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