Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
