oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
