Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
