By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
