It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I think I sprained my soul last night
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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