Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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