My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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