Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
