he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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