i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
