So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
