So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
