I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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