Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
