the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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