Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
