what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
