hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
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