in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
