you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
