No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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