I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize