But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
