It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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