Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize