Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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