I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
