New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i will never coherently bang her
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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