dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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