he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
