I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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