I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
