I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
