YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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