On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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