he shaved USA in his pubs
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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