I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
