Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
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Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
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Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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