i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
