Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
