Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
