don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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