Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
