the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
this is an emotional support booty call
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
